Found on queerbitch's LJ and READ IT ALL YA MOFOS!
It contradicts a minoritally worshipped god and things that his teachings might say in a scripture that has never been proven to be true. God made man and woman so that his penis fits in her vagina so they can fuck all the time like perverts, not wear condoms in Ireland and the Vatican, and make lots of Republican babies. Two men together isn't love, even if they've spent half their lives together and are "married" under their own circumstances, and two women together is only good when it makes money for German porn kings.
There is no proof that being gay is a sin, or wrong, or that saying so is anywhere near legitamate outside the context of religion. But it just is. It is because in America, the greatest country on Earth, most people are sorta Christian and we think the Bible probably says that homos and stupid. George W. Bush thinks homos are stupid too, and that's good enough for me.
I mean, come on, let's narrow homosexuals down to just how they have sex, because, I mean, if that's the only thing they do different, despite the fact we make rude generalizations and stereotypes ranging from gender dysphoria to limp wrists and plaid shirts, then we should talk lots and lots about it and make it sound really wrong. I mean, who cares if men get the most pleasure out of having their prostate stimulated, and women often enjoy cunningulus more than actual intercourse? The only real way to have sex so that it isn't gross or perverse is to have a self-centered, dominating man fuck the crap out of his wife/girlfriend for a good seven minutes before falling asleep on top of her before she has an orgasm. Don't you people read the Bible?!!!
There is no true love between homosexuals. Love is a wonderful and vast thing that is beyond all odds, because it's OK if I'm a bitch and my boyfriend is a fat ass drug dealer, because he has a penis and I don't, so it's cool. Love checks for an adam's apple every time, because Adam and Eve were made to have babies and do it doggy style in the Garden of Eden, not Adam and Steve!!! Or Eve and Alyssa. Or Eve and Fido, either, because homosexuality opens the doors to other perverse things that are clearly mental conditions like necrophilia, pedophilia, and beastiality.
Marriage is also Christian. So yes, that means Jewish, Muslim, Bhuddist, Hindu, and secular weddings aren't really marriage, either. God says homos are bad and only a man and a woman can get married so that they can fuck and have babies and maybe the man will get really paranoid about having the same vagina for the rest of his life and be forced to have some more babies with the girl next door. Marriage is love!!! And love is not a relationship that doesn't have one and only one penis. So no same-sex union, ever, because all that matters is if you can make babies. Don't ask me about children out of wedlock, barren couples, or abortion, though, because God didn't really say anything about that, I just made everything about those issues up, and they can marry because they're straight and try to have kids, anyway. Birth control is OK, too, because the Pope is in Italy.
Transsexuals dont even matter. They dont really exist, so don't ask me a really smart question like "What if a man who was born a female, thus still has female chromosomes, falls in love with and marries a natural born female? Is that still lesbianism? Is it really love, because he has a penis now?" because I dont know, nor do I think that transsexuality is an issue my small, narrow mind is comfortable enough to deal with in the least.
And finally. Every gay stereotype is true. So there.
If you didn't laugh at this, you need to get whatever bug it is up your ass the hell out. The whole thing is total sarcasm. Now don't vote Bush, you stupid son of a bitch.
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